Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
