Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
