I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
