Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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