Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
