Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
