Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
