North Korea, Best Korea!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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