my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
NoShamevember. You game?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
