Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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