I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
