i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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