i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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