he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize