Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
