she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
