he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
