There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
