24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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