How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
