how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
