Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
