Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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