you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
