On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
