so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
