so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
