I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
