i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
