Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
