Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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