if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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