I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
