You made me cry and you don't even care
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
