rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
