You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
