Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
