I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
