I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
