the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
