I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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