Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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