I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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