im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
