my soul wont recognize me after tonight
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
