i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
