Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
