I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
