I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
