I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize