I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
