best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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